DEEP RELATIONSHIPS

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WHERE DO DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COME FROM?



I Samuel 18:1-5, “And it came to pass, when he had made an
end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of
David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
“And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his
father’s house.”
“Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his
own soul.”
“And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave
it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his
girdle.”
“And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself
wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight
of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.”
The greatest of all loves is a
friend love. John 15:13, “Greater love
hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for a friend.”
It does
not say wife, mother, husband, son, and daughter. Please do not misunderstand
one can be a friend to their wife, mother, husband, son, daughter, brother, or
sister. They are not automatically a friend because they are relatives
·     
THE
GREATEST OF ALL LOVES IS A FRIEND LOVE
·     
THE FIRST
RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE A FRIEND RELATIONSHIP
·     
REAL
BIBLE LOVE FOLLOWS REAL BIBLE FRIENDSHIP
·     
BEING A
TRUE FRIEND MEANS TRUE UNSELFISHNESS
To whatever degree one is totally
unselfish to that degree only is one a friend. The hardest person to be a
friend to is someone who has what you desire or need. That is why the mate
friendship must be void of selfishness. It is difficult for a child to have a
deep relationship with mom or dad for the same reason. Likewise when it comes
to the parent-child relationship the same thing is true. 
It is not impossible
just hard! It is easiest to be a friend to those you do not know. What if a
friend gives you something? If I want what I have then what someone gives me I
can enjoy because I have it. The obvious question then comes to mind where do
the deep relationships come from?
ONE CAN CHOOSE ANYONE THEY DESIRE TO BE A FRIEND TOO
The issue is not having a friend
but being a friend. Selfishness drives the quest for a friend while
unselfishness drives the quest to meet needs, desires, and wants of others. The
result is that you are a friend!
A TRUE BIBLE FRIEND NEEDS NO MUTUAL AGREEMENT
In order to marry one has to have
a mutual agreement. In order to go into business one needs to have a mutual
agreement. In order to be on the same ball team one needs a mutual agreement
but to be a friend you need no mutual agreement. One can choose any one in the
entire world to be a friend too. 
A true Bible friend needs no acceptance or no
reciprocation. One does not ask people if they can be their friends? You can
decide on your own to be somebody’s friend! Someone can hate you and you can
still be his or her friend! A true Bible friend needs no response or mutual
agreement in order to be a friend.
YOU CANNOT BE THE BEST FRIEND AND BE A FRIEND
When you desire to b e someone’s
best friend you have disqualified yourself from being a true friend.
I decided 40 years ago to be the
late Dr. Jack Hyles’ friend, Dr. Curtis Hutson’s friend, Dr. Tom Malone’s
friend, Dr. Lee Roberson’s friend, Dr. Carl Hatch’s friend, and Evangelist
Lester Roloff’s friend. I never worried about being their best friend because
it would have not allowed me to be a friend.
YOU CANNOT CHOOSE WHO IS YOUR FRIEND
It is natural for you to desire
for someone to be your friend instead of someone else’s friend and that is why
the average person has no deep relationships in life. You have failed the
friend test! It is a supernatural work of the Holy Spirit in the believer that
allows him or her to lay down his or her own life in lieu of someone else’s
life.
The truth is if we would worry,
as much about being a friend as we do in the having of a friend all of our
relationships would be enriched.
·     
We must
die to our self
·     
We must
die to our desires
We have a shallow Christianity
and a shallow service in these days because it is all wrapped up in what it
means to us and what are the benefits for me and mine! This explains the
phenomenal growth of the Evangelical and Charismatic movement in this so called mega-church age. 
These men go into their communities and find out what the
people want instead of going to God and His Word to find out what God wants.
The catering to selfish side of man will not produce real Christians! It will
produce the crowds!
Most redeemed folks want to know
how to get things from God for themselves. That is not true praying and it all
starts with this door called “friend” that must be entered first.

·     
YOU CAN
CHOOSE ANYONE IN THE WORLD YOU WANT TO BE A FRIEND
·     
YOU NEED
NO MUTUAL AGREEMENT
·     
YOU
CANNOT BE THE BEST FRIEND AND BE A TRUE FRIEND
·     
YOU
CANNOT CHOOSE WHO IS YOUR FRIEND
·     
GOD
CHOOSES YOUR FRIEND AND GIVES HIM OR HER TO YOU AS A GIFT
You can decide to be a friend,
but God decides who is your friend. I Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul,
that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved
him as his own soul.”
Ninety-nine % of our problems would be
solved if we would just simply decide to be a good Christian. No one can be a
true friend until that person dies to himself and we do not qualify to have a
true friend until we die to self. God did the knitting of the heart of Jonathan
to David!
I Samuel 18:2-3, “And Saul took him that day, and would let
him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a
covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.”
Saul was king! Jonathan was the
son of the king and was next in line but God chose David not Jonathan. Hold it!
Take notice at the unselfishness of Jonathan in verse 4 when he said here is my
robe. Jonathan was saying I would rather that you be king than me. Until you would
rather they have what they want than for you to have what you want you cannot
be a true friend!
There are two ways to be rich:
one get what you want and two want what you have! There is nothing in the world
as miserable as a person with an unfulfilled appetite!
In the process of seeking a
friend you become selfish and to be a true friend you have to be unselfish. The
very fact anyone is seeking is self-serving in itself especially when it comes
to deep relationships. Selfishness will destroy closeness!
·     
You
cannot choose anyone you want to be a friend too
·     
It is not
a mutual agreement
·     
You
cannot be the best friend and be a friend
·     
You
cannot choose who is your friend
·     
God
chooses your friend and gives him or her to you
·     
You
cannot seek a friend and be a friend
·     
You
cannot know who your friends are but you can know who you are a friend too
·     
A friend
is God’s reward for being a friend
·     
If you
are a friend in order to get friends you will never have friends

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