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II Samuel 13:3, “And Amnon had a friend, whose name was
Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil

I Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass, when he had made an
end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of
David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

It does not mention here in verse one that their souls were knitted to each other. It does say specifically that
Jonathan’s soul was knit to David’s soul. In essence you have one soul in two
bodies. Jonathan became a friend to David. The truth is when one becomes a
Biblical friend to someone it is as if you lose your own will to be of help to them to do God’s will.

Jonathan was the eldest son of
King Saul. Jonathan was heir apparent to the throne. Jonathan was a man of
character and quit capable of being king, but when he gave his soul to David his
desire was that David be king instead!

Jonathan gave his friendship to
David because he observed God’s hand on David. Jonathan witnessed how little
David took the challenge of the giant Goliath and how he slew the giant.
Jonathan perceived the anointing of God on David and he realized David would be
a greater king. He decided that the nation would be better off with David as
God’s choice and not Saul’s choice.

Jonathan gave David his sword,
robe, scepter, and girdle. Notice real friendship is not two souls knitted
together because that is a selfish agreement but one soul in two bodies is an
unselfish commitment. Yes, it is one sided, but it is real Bible friendship!

Both Jonathan and King Saul have
been killed in battle. David had tasted real friendship and he desired another
relationship of real friendship. However, David did not examine what he had
done to cause God to give him Jonathan as his friend. We have no record in
Scripture of David being Jonathan’s friend, but we have clear Scripture to tell
us that Jonathan was David’s friend.

David has experienced real
friendship and he coveted it again and as a result he disqualified himself from
being a friend and having a friend. David thus creates a title of “friend.”
David later on made it a government office. Solomon later on made it the
principal office, the office of “friend.”

David was attempting to find
another Jonathan, but you do not make another Jonathan because it is God Himself
who gives a Jonathan as a gift! David chooses Hushai to be the official

One of these friends was
appointed to David’s first-born son whose name was Amnon. Jonadab was given by
David, who was king, the family title of “friend” just for Amnon! King David
now places on the payroll a “friend” for each of the royal children. Jonadab was
paid to be a friend to Amnon not a friend like Jonathan, but an appointed hired


Amnon became
infatuated with the beauty of his half sister Tamar. Amnon lusted after her and
called it “love.” However, it was merely a physical attraction. The hired
“friend” Jonadab came to see Amnon and noticed that Amnon’s countenance was not
good. He asked Amnon what was wrong? Amnon told Jonadab that he was in love
with his half sister Tamar. Jonadab then began to help Amnon with this ungodly

He told Amnon to play like he was
sick and when the father comes and asks what is wrong tell him you are sick and
need Tamar, the half sister, to come and take care of you. Jonadab then said
when she comes in with the food ask the others to leave so you can be alone
with her. Wait a minute this was his friend’s counsel. This is a kind of a
friend that will give you worldly wisdom and tell you what you want to hear not
what is best for you.

James 3:15, “This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual,

This is how any one ends up
justifying the use of dope, liquor, bad music, etc. No one reading this article would say that Jonadab was a real friend. However, the truth is if you think
hard enough you will realize you have Jonadab’s in your own life that are
nothing more than hired friends. If you scratch their back they will scratch
your back.

Amnon finally ended up raping his
half sister Tamar. Jonadab is the kind of a friend who is against parental
authority in fact any kind of elder statesmanship. This is the
kind of a friend who with subtilty turns people against their elders. This
is the type of person who is a friend as long as he has a title, but without the
title does little if anything to help. “If you’ll be my friend I’ll be your
friend! If you don’t do it my way I’ll do nothing for you.” Hired friends!
Prostituted friends!

The Consequences

The result of this kind of
so-called friend is hate, rape and death. David sends Tamar into Amnon who is
professing to be ill. Amnon forces himself upon Tamar and rapes his half
sister. Don’t forget this it was Amnon’s hired friend that thought this plan
up! It was this fake friend who led him into this sin that was a crime against
his own half sister.

It is time that we unselfishly
give ourselves to those we profess to be friends. Why don’t we lose ourselves in a cause that is
greater than ourselves that will lift us up above ourselves? This hired
friendship caused Amnon to do some awful things that had built in

He raped
his half sister Tamar
David’s third son was infuriated with Amnon the first son
thus began to hate Amnon
plotted to murder Amnon
punished Absalom and banished him for 5 years from the palace
As a
result Absalom rebelled against his own father
It caused
a revolution against King David
resulted in Absalom being killed in battle

Don’t forget this hired friend
caused Amnon to rape Tamar, which caused Absalom to be banished from the
palace. Have you not wondered why Absalom rebelled against his father David? He
was furious because David exiled him for murdering Amnon for raping Tamar and
all of this because of a fake friend in Jonadab.

This hired friend Jonadab caused
Amnon to rape his sister, Absalom to kill Amnon, King David to expel Absalom,
Absalom to rebel against his own father, and a revolution against the King!

Absalom would not have been
killed had he not led in a revolution against his father. He would not have led
a revolution had he not been exiled for 5 years. He would not have been exiled
had he not killed Amnon. He would not have killed Amnon had Amnon not raped
Tamar. Amnon would not have raped Tamar had he not had Jonadab as a hired or
fake friend!

I have often wondered how many
men died or were destroyed because of a fake friend like this? I have often wondered how many orphans
were made because of a fake friend? I have often wondered how many widows
were created because of a fake friend?

The silence of friends is more deafening than the voices of your enemies.

When you are on top and winning they will be right there beside you riding your coattails. However, when you are attacked and it appears you are losing they will quickly deny they ever knew you.  

Focus on
doing the will of God by meeting the needs of others and do not worry about
having a friend, but concentrate on being a friend.

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