THE MODEL FRIENDSHIP
Deuteronomy 13:6-8, “If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or
thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as
thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods,
which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;”
thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as
thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods,
which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;”
“Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto
thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other
end of the earth;”
thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other
end of the earth;”
“Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall
thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:”
thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:”
In the middle of these
relationships of brother, son, daughter, and wife is a relationship of a
friend. “Thy friend, which is as thine own soul…” A similar phrase is used in I
Samuel 18:1 where it says, “Loved him as his own soul” and also in verse 3.
relationships of brother, son, daughter, and wife is a relationship of a
friend. “Thy friend, which is as thine own soul…” A similar phrase is used in I
Samuel 18:1 where it says, “Loved him as his own soul” and also in verse 3.
ONE CHOOSES TO BE A FRIEND
Did it ever dawn on you that you
had no choice that your mother, father, brother, or sister would be? The only
close divine given relationship that one could have that one chooses for him or
her self independent of any one else is a friend.
had no choice that your mother, father, brother, or sister would be? The only
close divine given relationship that one could have that one chooses for him or
her self independent of any one else is a friend.
In Deuteronomy 13:6 there is
listed mother, daughter, son, brother, and friend that is as thine own soul.
You have no choice about who your mother, father, brother, or sister are! The
truth is you could not even choose your wife or husband because they would have
to agree! You did not place an order for your child! You dead sure didn’t
choose your mother-in-law! Ha! The friend is the only relationship place right
up there beside mother, father, son, daughter, brother, or sister.
listed mother, daughter, son, brother, and friend that is as thine own soul.
You have no choice about who your mother, father, brother, or sister are! The
truth is you could not even choose your wife or husband because they would have
to agree! You did not place an order for your child! You dead sure didn’t
choose your mother-in-law! Ha! The friend is the only relationship place right
up there beside mother, father, son, daughter, brother, or sister.
There are many things mentioned
in the Bible about friends, what a friend is supposed to be, to do, and how
friendship is supposed to be!
in the Bible about friends, what a friend is supposed to be, to do, and how
friendship is supposed to be!
God always gives us an example in
Scripture. The Bible teaches us we are saved from a Devil’s Hell by grace
through faith in Jesus Christ. We have the example of the Philippian jailor who
asked, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul responded, “Believe on the Lord Jesus
Christ and thou shalt be saved!” The result was the jailor and his entire
family were saved! Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He gave His life for sinners and proved His friendship to sinners.
Scripture. The Bible teaches us we are saved from a Devil’s Hell by grace
through faith in Jesus Christ. We have the example of the Philippian jailor who
asked, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul responded, “Believe on the Lord Jesus
Christ and thou shalt be saved!” The result was the jailor and his entire
family were saved! Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He gave His life for sinners and proved His friendship to sinners.
Along with the truth that God
teaches in the Bible He gives us examples of that truth. The great example of
the Bible truth of friendship is the relationship between Jonathan and David.
teaches in the Bible He gives us examples of that truth. The great example of
the Bible truth of friendship is the relationship between Jonathan and David.
I Samuel 14:49, “Now the sons of Saul were Jonathan and
Ishui, and Melchishua: and the names of his two daughters were these; the name
of the firstborn Merab, and the name of the younger Michal:”
Ishui, and Melchishua: and the names of his two daughters were these; the name
of the firstborn Merab, and the name of the younger Michal:”
Saul was the king and Jonathan
was the eldest son of the king. Jonathan being the oldest was heir to his
father’s throne.
was the eldest son of the king. Jonathan being the oldest was heir to his
father’s throne.
·
Jonathan
was the heir apparent for the throne of Israel
Jonathan
was the heir apparent for the throne of Israel
·
Jonathan
was a great general of the army
Jonathan
was a great general of the army
CHARACTER IS REQUIRED
Jonathan was to become the next
king. He was a fighter and a courageous leader of the army. The first thing
that is required to be a friend is character! You do not qualify to be a friend
if you do not posses character.
king. He was a fighter and a courageous leader of the army. The first thing
that is required to be a friend is character! You do not qualify to be a friend
if you do not posses character.
Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself
friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 27:14, “He that blesseth his friend with a loud
voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”
voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”
“Friendly” is not “How are you
today?” rather it is being “knitted together.” He “must shew himself” and that
takes character. You cannot have a friend until you “are” a friend and you
cannot be a friend until you possess character! You cannot be a friend until you
take your mind off of yourself and place it on others and that takes character.
today?” rather it is being “knitted together.” He “must shew himself” and that
takes character. You cannot have a friend until you “are” a friend and you
cannot be a friend until you possess character! You cannot be a friend until you
take your mind off of yourself and place it on others and that takes character.
When every one loves your friend
that is the easy time, but let the heat be put on your friend and it will soon
become a curse to you and it will take character to remain his friend! No one
can be a friend until one thinks about others and one cannot be a friend until
you are a friend and you cannot be either without character.
that is the easy time, but let the heat be put on your friend and it will soon
become a curse to you and it will take character to remain his friend! No one
can be a friend until one thinks about others and one cannot be a friend until
you are a friend and you cannot be either without character.
Character is demonstrated in
rising on time, working hard, paying your bills on time, reading the Bible
daily, praying daily, being dependable, and living a holy life. In case you
desire to be a friend you must develop character because it will take character
for you to do for others without expecting anything in return.
rising on time, working hard, paying your bills on time, reading the Bible
daily, praying daily, being dependable, and living a holy life. In case you
desire to be a friend you must develop character because it will take character
for you to do for others without expecting anything in return.
The road to character development
has to be with one putting his flesh in subjection to the Holy Spirit of God
that indwells every believer. This is the only way you can put others first!
has to be with one putting his flesh in subjection to the Holy Spirit of God
that indwells every believer. This is the only way you can put others first!
When the Scripture in I Samuel
18:1 says, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to David” it does not say David knit
his soul to Jonathan. It does not say that Jonathan knit his soul to David. It
does say the soul of Jonathan was knit to David. The word “knit” can be defined
as they “grew together as one entity.” Two bodies in one soul! Only God could
do such a thing! Real friendship is God’s work not man’s work! It is given to
those who possess character!
18:1 says, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to David” it does not say David knit
his soul to Jonathan. It does not say that Jonathan knit his soul to David. It
does say the soul of Jonathan was knit to David. The word “knit” can be defined
as they “grew together as one entity.” Two bodies in one soul! Only God could
do such a thing! Real friendship is God’s work not man’s work! It is given to
those who possess character!
A MODEL FRIENDSHIP IS ONE SIDED
There is not one place in the
Scriptures that tells us that David loved Jonathan, but several times the Bible
says Jonathan loved David. It simply means it was probably a one sided
friendship! There was a covenant between them that had to do with David’s life
being spared! It means that one can be a friend to any one you desire to be a
friend too! You do not say to someone, “I’ll be your friend if you’ll be mine?”
You do not quit being someone’s friend and that takes character.
Scriptures that tells us that David loved Jonathan, but several times the Bible
says Jonathan loved David. It simply means it was probably a one sided
friendship! There was a covenant between them that had to do with David’s life
being spared! It means that one can be a friend to any one you desire to be a
friend too! You do not say to someone, “I’ll be your friend if you’ll be mine?”
You do not quit being someone’s friend and that takes character.
Jonathan was a friend to David.
Jonathan loved David as he loved his own soul. Jonathan was a friend to David
and it was one sided. David was a friend to King Saul and it was also one
sided. You cannot make friends, but you can be a friend.
Jonathan loved David as he loved his own soul. Jonathan was a friend to David
and it was one sided. David was a friend to King Saul and it was also one
sided. You cannot make friends, but you can be a friend.
·
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
·
Jonathan
was a great general
Jonathan
was a great general
·
Jonathan
was a man of character
Jonathan
was a man of character
I Samuel 20:17, “And Jonathan caused David to swear again,
because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul.”
because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul.”
II Samuel 1:26, “I am distressed for thee, my brother
Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful,
passing the love of women.”
Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful,
passing the love of women.”
Friendship can be one sided! If
one would quit attempting to make friends and start being a friend then God
will reward with friendships. Friendship is totally void of seeking anything in
return.
one would quit attempting to make friends and start being a friend then God
will reward with friendships. Friendship is totally void of seeking anything in
return.
·
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
·
Jonathan
was a great general
Jonathan
was a great general
·
Jonathan
was a man of character
Jonathan
was a man of character
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
A MODEL FRIENDSHIP IS TOTAL UNSELFISHNESS
Jonathan made it clear to David
that he ought to be king instead of himself. Jonathan unselfishly gave up his
right to the throne to his friend David. There is not such thing as one
demanding anything of a friend. Someone says, “If you were my friend you
would…” He is not a friend! If you say to someone “We’re not friends anymore” then
you were a fake friend.
that he ought to be king instead of himself. Jonathan unselfishly gave up his
right to the throne to his friend David. There is not such thing as one
demanding anything of a friend. Someone says, “If you were my friend you
would…” He is not a friend! If you say to someone “We’re not friends anymore” then
you were a fake friend.
Jonathan gave up the throne,
crown, scepter, and power to his friend David.
crown, scepter, and power to his friend David.
I Samuel 20:4, “Then said Jonathan unto David, Whatsoever
thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee.”
thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee.”
How about testing your
friendship? Is there any one in the world that you would do anything for if
they needed it? I mean if they hated your intestines? Then you are not a
friend! Jonathan turned his back on his own crown, scepter, and throne for
David. Friendship is total unselfishness!
friendship? Is there any one in the world that you would do anything for if
they needed it? I mean if they hated your intestines? Then you are not a
friend! Jonathan turned his back on his own crown, scepter, and throne for
David. Friendship is total unselfishness!
I preached with Dr. Jack Hyles
for 22 years at least once a month. The last 11 years of his life it was almost
weekly. I was Dr. Hyles friend, but I never wondered if he was my friend. I was his friend but I never asked
myself if he was my friend. It is not my job to make friends it is my job to be
a friend. I cannot control what you do, but I can control what I do! I have never speculated about his friendship to me nor did I enquire about it.
for 22 years at least once a month. The last 11 years of his life it was almost
weekly. I was Dr. Hyles friend, but I never wondered if he was my friend. I was his friend but I never asked
myself if he was my friend. It is not my job to make friends it is my job to be
a friend. I cannot control what you do, but I can control what I do! I have never speculated about his friendship to me nor did I enquire about it.
There is only one that you can be
sure of who is your friend and that is Jesus the Son of God. Please do not
misunderstand I have confidence in others’ friendship. However, I am not in the
business of looking for friends rather I am in the business of being a friend.
sure of who is your friend and that is Jesus the Son of God. Please do not
misunderstand I have confidence in others’ friendship. However, I am not in the
business of looking for friends rather I am in the business of being a friend.
Jonathan said to David here is my
robe, my bow, my sword, my throne, and my kingdom.
robe, my bow, my sword, my throne, and my kingdom.
I Samuel 23:14-18, “And David abode in the wilderness in strong
holds, and remained in a mountain in the wilderness of Ziph. And Saul sought
him every day, but God delivered him not into his hand.”
holds, and remained in a mountain in the wilderness of Ziph. And Saul sought
him every day, but God delivered him not into his hand.”
“And David saw that Saul was come out to seek his life: and David was
in the wilderness of Ziph in a wood.”
in the wilderness of Ziph in a wood.”
“And Jonathan Saul’s son arose, and went to David into the wood, and
strengthened his hand in God.”
strengthened his hand in God.”
“And he said unto him, Fear not: for the hand of Saul my father shall
not find thee; and thou shalt be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father
knoweth.”
not find thee; and thou shalt be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father
knoweth.”
“And they two made a covenant before the LORD: and David abode in the
wood, and Jonathan went to his house.”
wood, and Jonathan went to his house.”
It looked bad for David but
Jonathan was a friend to David regardless.
Jonathan was a friend to David regardless.
·
Jonathan
was heir to throne of King Saul
Jonathan
was heir to throne of King Saul
·
Jonathan
was a great general
Jonathan
was a great general
·
Jonathan
was a man of great character
Jonathan
was a man of great character
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
·
Real
friendship is instinctive
Real
friendship is instinctive
Jonathan did not waver! He did
not say I cannot take sides! Character is when you subconsciously do right and
is instinctive. Jonathan’s soul was knit to David and it became one soul in two
bodies. Friendship does not need to be returned in order to be real friendship.
Friendship is total unselfishness!
not say I cannot take sides! Character is when you subconsciously do right and
is instinctive. Jonathan’s soul was knit to David and it became one soul in two
bodies. Friendship does not need to be returned in order to be real friendship.
Friendship is total unselfishness!
I Samuel 23:17, “And he said unto him, Fear not: for the
hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel,
and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.”
hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel,
and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.”
·
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
Jonathan
was heir to the throne
·
Jonathan
was a great general
Jonathan
was a great general
·
Jonathan
was a man of great character
Jonathan
was a man of great character
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was one sided
·
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
Jonathan’s
friendship to David was total unselfishness
·
Real
friendship is instinctive
Real
friendship is instinctive
·
Real
friendship is closer than blood
Real
friendship is closer than blood
The closet relationship is
friendship not kingship! One has to work harder at having friendship in
marriage because of selfishness.
friendship not kingship! One has to work harder at having friendship in
marriage because of selfishness.
IT WAS LOYALTY TO TRUTH THAT LED JONATHAN TO DAVID
Loyalty to a person who perverts
truth is in reality disloyalty. King Saul perverted truth and thus Jonathan was
being loyal to truth that found its embodiment in David. It takes character to
look beyond the man to the truth he embodies and to stay with truth regardless
of the attacks it brings with it.
truth is in reality disloyalty. King Saul perverted truth and thus Jonathan was
being loyal to truth that found its embodiment in David. It takes character to
look beyond the man to the truth he embodies and to stay with truth regardless
of the attacks it brings with it.
FRIENDSHIP DOES NOT REQUIRE BEING TOGETHER
I Samuel 23:18, “And they two made a covenant before the
LORD: and David abode in the wood, and Jonathan went to his house.”
LORD: and David abode in the wood, and Jonathan went to his house.”
This is the last time David and
Jonathan saw each other. The truth is they were rarely together and the total
years of crossing paths were only 6 years.
Jonathan saw each other. The truth is they were rarely together and the total
years of crossing paths were only 6 years.
·
Jonathan
made David a better Christian
Jonathan
made David a better Christian
I Samuel 23:16, “And Jonathan Saul’s son arose, and went to
David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.”
David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.”
Note the phrase “strengthened his
hand in God.” Does that boy friend you are dating make you a better Christian?
How about the girl friend you are dating? Again, friendship is the greatest and
deepest of all relationships. Are you reading your Bible less since you these
people entered into your world? How is your soul winning? How is your prayer
life?
hand in God.” Does that boy friend you are dating make you a better Christian?
How about the girl friend you are dating? Again, friendship is the greatest and
deepest of all relationships. Are you reading your Bible less since you these
people entered into your world? How is your soul winning? How is your prayer
life?
The model friendship is a God given friendship that
is bathed in unselfishness! If you want a friend then you will never experience the model friendship.